My Personal Blog – My journey to find Me
12 Months into my diet …
Blog part 4. There it was staring right at me my 7 STONE certificate, 7 STONE how the hell did I get this far ???
There had certainly been far few tears shed on this journey, so many days I had had enough, and the weight loss was dramatically slowing down.
I was losing my patience with it all at times, and that led to me becoming frustrated with myself and beating myself up about how I had come to the size I had been.
Why did I keep looking back?
I should be focused on just moving forward and enjoying my achievement.
Like I said in my previous post I was never bullied at school about my weight, in fact, my school days were some of the best memories I have. However, I have had some cruel comments made about my size whilst in my late teen’s early twenties.
One comment I will share:
Myself and my good friend had decided to book a holiday abroad, so I thought fab I’ll go on a sunbed first and get a slight colour before I go away, this was going to be my first time to use a sunbed. I got a token and headed to the sunbed, I then heard a comment from the owner
“make sure you put some breeze blocks under her sunbed”
Maybe some would read this and find it “funny”, however, it completely crushed me, how I carried on and got on that sunbed I will never know. Maybe that’s the stubborn streak the determination I have deep inside? I don’t know, but I got on and to this day, I’ve never got back on a sunbed.
Writing this now has brought it to the forefront of my mind and I sit here in tears.
Most of us are guilty of making comments, judging people on their skin colour, clothes, hair, size etc.
I try to raise my children never to judge anyone and take them for the person they are as I know first hand how hurtful it can be.
If you have nothing nice to say DONT SAY IT!
I made one of the biggest decisions ever, I would seek counselling I needed to deal with my trauma I had experienced at a young age.
I booked in for my first counselling session with a lovely guy called Justin, I was optimistic could he really help? Only time would tell I suppose.
I had so much love for everyone else, I desperately needed to find some love for myself.
Read my earlier blog posts http://www.mamalifemagazine.co.uk/category/blog/