Natasha’s Blog

My Personal Blog – My journey to find Me

12 Months into my diet …

Blog part 4. There it was staring right at me my 7 STONE certificate, 7 STONE how the hell did I get this far ???

There had certainly been far few tears shed on this journey, so many days I had had enough, and the weight loss was dramatically slowing down.

I was losing my patience with it all at times, and that led to me becoming frustrated with myself and beating myself up about how I had come to the size I had been.

Why did I keep looking back?

I should be focused on just moving forward and enjoying my achievement.

Like I said in my previous post I was never bullied at school about my weight, in fact, my school days were some of the best memories I have. However, I have had some cruel comments made about my size whilst in my late teen’s early twenties.

One comment I will share:

Myself and my good friend had decided to book a holiday abroad, so I thought fab I’ll go on a sunbed first and get a slight colour before I go away, this was going to be my first time to use a sunbed. I got a token and headed to the sunbed, I then heard a comment from the owner

“make sure you put some breeze blocks under her sunbed”

Maybe some would read this and find it “funny”, however, it completely crushed me, how I carried on and got on that sunbed I will never know. Maybe that’s the stubborn streak the determination I have deep inside? I don’t know, but I got on and to this day, I’ve never got back on a sunbed.
Writing this now has brought it to the forefront of my mind and I sit here in tears.

Most of us are guilty of making comments, judging people on their skin colour, clothes, hair, size etc.

I try to raise my children never to judge anyone and take them for the person they are as I know first hand how hurtful it can be.

If you have nothing nice to say DONT SAY IT!

I made one of the biggest decisions ever, I would seek counselling I needed to deal with my trauma I had experienced at a young age.

I booked in for my first counselling session with a lovely guy called Justin, I was optimistic could he really help? Only time would tell I suppose.

I had so much love for everyone else, I desperately needed to find some love for myself.


Read my earlier blog posts

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