Sweet Jesus, wtf is Sui Generis?

mama life magazine

Sweet Jesus, wtf is Sui Generis

It’s about to get weird, so strap in and just go with it, sugar, because if you’ve ever doubted what makes you different to other people, or you’re just lacking in general ‘ooomph’ right now, this is gonna tickle your pleasure bean.

OK, what immediately comes to mind when you think of the following celebrities?
-Keith Lemon
-Boris Johnson
-Lady GaGa
-Sacha Baron Cohen

For Keith, you might have said: Bo Selecta and the weird AF celeb masks. For Sia, her big bowl-cut bow wig. Boris – his mumbo jumbo talk.  Lady GaGa– meat dress. Sacha – yellow tracksuit, or just general horrific banter. Whatever you thought, I bet you went straight to their quirks before, say: singer, comedian, or actor.

That’s because these guys have used what makes them wonderfully weird to make them stand-out. In short, they are all proudly showing their sui generis
And now I’m gonna quit the tease and actually tell you what the hell this bloody phrase means… (SOO-EEE JEN-EH-RIS)
Say it with me… Suuui Geneeeeris. Sounds good, doesn’t it? This deliciously scrumptious phrase is Latin for “In a class of your own”, and it’s a beautiful reminder that there’s something uniquely wonderful and weird about all of us. And, because we’re all about the weird right now, we’re also going to totally warp the phrase to make it work as both a noun and a verb…because honey, why the hell not.

See, as we enter adulthood, two things inevitably happen: Our tits sag and our “just fuck it” attitude tends to disappear. We can find ourselves stubbing out our weird bits because it’s safer just to blend in. But, it’s usually at the expense of our enjoyment in life. And that’s why the idea of embracing our Sui Generis is so damn yummy because showing more of our quirks can help us live happier lives.

Whether you’re a mum, a wife, a carer, career-er, courier, croupier, whatever, doesn’t matter, those labels do not define you.

What does define you, however, are your sweet-ass little Suis. So, let’s delve deep and find them, shall we?

Remind yourself of a time someone asked you to describe what you love about your partner. Chances are, you would have said something like… “Kind, funny, considerate, romantic (ha,ok), hard-working, great with the kids etc. etc.”

Now, these qualities, though positive they may be, aren’t really what you love, are they? Because, what you really love are all the little things they do, or say that go into making them. AKA: Their quirks. Or, in Latin, their Sui Generis. Could be how they do the worm at weddings; their insane impression of Donald Duck, or simply that they’re straight as an arrow, yet love RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Sui, see.

Now, let’s flip that round. What would someone say if asked to describe what they love about you?

Do you sound a little Indian when trying to do a Scottish accent? Do you snort when you laugh? Do you have to check every single bloody corner of a room for spiders before you enter it? Can you rap the entire length of ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’? Can you do a sickening full booty twerk?

It’s these sorta things, these scrumptious weird little Sui Generis that make you who you are, and what makes people love you. But, are you showing them off? Or have you, albeit unintentionally, forgotten how to be you? Perhaps you’ve not been ‘quite yourself’ lately, or your friends have commented on you being a bit quiet. Maybe you’re just too concerned about other peoples’ opinions of you, so you dim
your light in order to avert attention?

Just had an “Oh, Shit” moment? Good.

It’s time to wab out your Sui Generis, sugar. Because, if you ever find yourself in an identity crisis where you just don’t know who you are, which can usually happen when you compare your life to others, then get into the habit of reminding yourself of all of your wonderful Sui Generis, big or small – it really helps to bring you back round.

Let me tell you a little secret…..

Since taking time to rediscover my Sui Generis, my outlook on life has changed no end. Before I came out loud and proud as ‘The
Personal Brand Provocateur’, I wasn’t showing ANY of my quirky lil sweet-ass Suis at all, and the inauthenticity poured out of me like a no-butt bucket. I did what others thought I should do, and I was seriously stubbing my wonderful weirdness.

Now, I’m all about being real. I write how I want. I talk how I want. I dress how I want, I cuss, I swear and lay it all bloody bare, and it’s all those silly lil Suis combined that make my life the crazy, sexy, cool weirdfest it is today.

So, in the name of sweet Jesus, let’s show more of our Sui Generis! As, after all,

“The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them”.

But, there’s one little problem isn’t there – what if you haven’t a bloody clue what your sui generises are?

Well, here are 2 ways you can (t)werk it the hell out…

1 Me Map
Grab some paper and put your name in a circle in the middle. Now draw 10 arrows. At the end of each arrow, write:

1.My Humour
2.My Clothes
3.My Sayings
4.My Body
5.My Music
6.My Passions
7.My Goals
8.My Achievements
9.My Favourite Memories
10.My Fears/phobias

Now, underneath each one, write down the things that come to mind that are unique to you. For example, ‘My Humour’ could be a list of words you find hilarious or the names you and your partner call each other. Really go for it – you’ll be surprised what you re-discover about yourself!

2 Ask Sugar, ask
Ask your partner, parents, children, friends etc. what they love about you-you might be quite pleasantly surprised. Now, if ever you feel a little low about yourself, revisit that list and remember all your weird and wonderfuls that make you unapologetically and inexcusably you…so when the tits inevitably do sag, your sexy Suis help you stay perky forever.


By Lucy Dowson


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