Be POSITIVE about your MONEY
Which of the following sentences is more likely to lift your heart and get you motivated about money?
‘I can’t believe I have overspent again this month, I am rubbish at managing my money.’
‘I can’t believe I sit down every month and look at my money, soon I will be saving. I am doing so well.’
Most people don’t realise how demotivating the first negative sentence is and add in words like ‘should’ and ‘must’ which make it worse!
Whether you start positively or negatively, your thinking spirals to more of the same. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is the neurological reason why this works – you can google it if you want the science behind it.
On a more practical level, to get motivated with your money, find things you are already doing and talk yourself into it positively. For example, ‘I do know how to do a budget so that’s a good start. I’ll just download my bank statements and look for the positive in them.’
You can literally talk yourself into and through doing money things if you do it positively. Give it a try.
Before March people used to say:
‘That’s the way I am.’
‘I can’t change now.’
‘I’ve always been this way.’
They were firmly in the denial stage of the Kubler-Ross Change Curve. I completely understand. It takes a courageous reason or a global pandemic to move people through the more difficult stages of change to acceptance.
Especially with money!
Now people are saying:
Anger: ‘I am angry with myself for letting things get this bad.’
Bargaining: ‘Just give me some money and I will manage it better this time.’
Depression: ‘There is going to be a recession, there is no point hoping I’ll get a job or reopening my business.’
Feeling these feelings doesn’t mean there is no hope – only that you are going through a change. I recommend you keep on going until you reach the acceptance stage.
Let’s look at an external subject, where it is easier to see what is going on. For example, the news. I do surf the news websites and feel for the tragedies going on in the world. By ending on a positive story, it brings me through the Kubler-Ross Change Curve smoothly. From shock and denial, through anger, bargaining, depression and into acceptance.
There are always good news stories. My favourite one at the moment is a list of the famous businesses which started in global recessions.
● Disney in 1929 during the great depression.
● Microsoft in the 1970s oil crisis.
● Airbnb in the 2007 credit crunch.
What if we do have another financial recession?
Well, I’ve already given talks on how to start a business in a recession – my first business, Catering Linen Hire, was started in the 1992 recession. Unemployment was high and the interest rate was even higher, at 15%.
It’s about doing what is right for you, as we have lost the illusion of certainty.
The certainty that the future will be better. Saying things like:
‘I’ll be earning more next year, I’ll start saving then.’
‘It’s OK, my credit cards are on 0% interest.’
‘My money is FINE!’
That desperate hope that this month is the exception and somehow our money will magically sort itself out. The media sells that story well.
Personally, I will be celebrating the end of the era of ‘build it and they will come’, made famous by the 1989 film ‘Field of Dreams’ with Kevin Costner. This film has been the bane of my life.
The most famous quote is ‘if you build it, he will come’. Costner’s character interpreted it as building a baseball field on his farm and a famous baseball player, his father idolised, would come to play on it. He nearly lost his family and his farm but the player showed up. As the screen credits rolled, hundreds of cars were seen in the distance signifying financial abundance!
It is a good film, winning academy awards but it has been immortalised into the entrepreneur world as:
I have a dream, it will make millions, no marketing or money skills needed!
No one has asked me for anything as sensible as a business plan in years. This week I had six enquiries for business planning! And I am not the only one.
Most of the debt support charities are busy recruiting to meet the demand of people coming to terms with their financial situation.
Yes, you can build your dream. The same way journalists get a story on the front page of a news website. With research, planning, editing, reworking their headline and luck.
Let’s focus on the positive. How much more do you know about your money situation now, than you did a few months ago? You have been through a steep learning curve.
Getting out of denial is the first step. So congratulations!
Whilst it probably feels uncomfortable right now, you are moving through the stages of change. Keep going and you will come out the other side stronger, wiser and with more money.
Jenny Bracelin is a qualified, skilled and experienced money coach and business mentor. Passionate about transforming people’s relationship to money and motivating them to make more. Book a free webinar about money at www.iexplainmoney.co.uk